Sometimes I let Ella do her hair...

Sadie doesn't seem to mind!

Although somedays the hair is so out of control there's no fixing it :)

Time for a serious update

I can. not. believe that my little girl is now a seven month old. I was visiting with a friend and her one week old last night, and I just felt overwhelmed at the thought that seven months have passed.

On the one hand, they have literally flown by, but on the other hand, they have been the most defining seven months of my life in so many ways. I am still processing the reality of the road we have walked and will continue to walk. It's starting to feel vaguely familiar and comfortable but still strangely new and different.

We had Sadie's six month check up just days before we left Oklahoma, and it was so encouraging! I can't find the paper with all the stats, but I do remember her weight was 13 pounds, 3 oz. Her length was somewhere in the 25th percentile, which is HUGE! There was some concern about her growth initially and some indications that she may have some longer term growth issues, but the fact that she is on the chart and progressing well is great news.

I mentioned we started solids, and she is rocking the eating! I have heard that the cleft palate has little effect on the ability to eat. She had to learn how to manuever the spoon and food just like my other kids, but it was really pretty smooth. She's already doing three meals a day, and we joke that she likes the food way more than the bottle. In fact, I'm not sure how much longer she will even take a bottle.

The feeding can wear her out though.

Inevitably, people who know about the cleft ask about feeding issues. For some babies, frequent choking and gagging can be a problem with bottle feeding. From the very beginning Sadie has not really had any problems swallowing or eating, but she is slow. At the height of it all, it was taking her about an hour and a half to take a bottle [2-3 oz.]. I added up the amount of time I spent one week pumping and giving Sadie bottles and it was just under 80 hours. It was overwhelming. Eventually, the pumping was just not practical anymore, so it was a relief to take that amount of time out of the equation. While the number of bottles Sadie takes has decreased and her amount has increased, it still takes about an hour for her to take 4-5 ounces.

The other difficult aspect of the feeding is that Sadie just doesn't always want to eat. I feel like it's a dance we do where I have to convince her that the bottle is worth her time. For a long time she really fought it: arched back, flailing hands, screaming and crying. It was rough. I mean, it's milk; it's food. I knew she needed it, but convincing her of that was another story. Right about the time she hit four months, she seemed to turn a corner and eating was a much more pleasant experience. She doesn't always want the bottle at this point, but at least she's pleasant in her rejection!

Despite some early swimming exposure, the girl most definitely does not rock a tan.

She may be pale, but she is the best little snuggler you can imagine!

She also loves faces and hair and anything she can grab with her grubby little hands.

It was right about the time that she was four months old that I noticed that she would absolutely light up when she saw me, but she rarely noticed I was there [or that anyone was there] if I was not in her line of sight. Often my other babies would fuss or cry out if they couldn't see me, but I could soothe them with a song or a coo or a word to let them know I was close by. Sadie never seemed to respond to my voice.

I mentioned my concern to J and he said that because of the "culture of noise" in our home, he thought Sadie was probably just less sensitive to sounds.

A few days later, I was sitting with Sadie in the den as Jack took a spill in the back hallway. I heard his initial cry and then the patter of his little footsteps as he came through the foyer. It was one of those silent screams in the back of his throat that was just waiting for enough air to explode. You know the kind I'm talking about where the kid has this giant open mouth and is obviously hysterical but just doesn't have enough oxygen at the moment to back it up.

He walked up right behind Sadie [outside of her vision completely] and screamed. Loudly. Hysterically.

Sadie didn't blink. She didn't turn her head. She didn't move. She didn't startle.

My heart sank.

I relayed the scenario to J and he suggested we mention it to our pediatrician but said he still felt no need for concern. The pediatrician seemed equally unconcerned but suggested we have Sadie's follow up hearing test [required for all infants born with cleft lip and palate] moved back to four months instead of waiting until six months.

I rounded up all the kids and headed to the audiologist for the test. This was a rookie mistake as I didn't realize that we needed to be silent for the testing. This took some engineering and well rationed tic tacs.

I could tell [even from outside the room with my tic tacs and big kids] that things were not going well. The audiologist kept fiddling with the probes and repeating certain tasks. Not good news. Sadie did not pass the screening.

This can happen for a couple of reasons:
1. Wax buildup, which the doctor confirmed moments later was not a problem
2. Fluid in the ears, which a special test done with the screening confirmed was not the problem
3. Hearing loss, yikes.

We had to go back out to the waiting room to wait and see the doctor and I immediately felt that hot, lump in my throat feeling. I can honestly say I was not surprised to hear that there was an issues. I'd suspected it, mentioned it to the doctor, followed through with my instinct, and witnessed plenty of "non-hearing" behavior. But just hearing the words, it just felt like I couldn't really process it.

I've wanted to post what was going on more times than I could count. Petition for your prayers. Soak in your encouragement. Process the reality. I think it was just too much. I just didn't even know how to begin.

I'll save you the boring details of all the testing here and there and everywhere in between, BUT we finally had some resolution here last week. It's fabulous news!

Sadie has fluid in her ears. Some further testing, with machines made specially for infant ears, revealed that Sadie has fluid that is preventing the sound from making it to her brain. With the fluid, she shows moderate to severe loss at all sound frequencies. They were able to do some testing that moves the sound behind the fluid to test the structure and function of the inner ear and everything seems to be working properly. J was with her for that test and he said it was really amazing to see her react to the sound. It was a noted difference from her everyday.

So it looks like there will be another surgery on the books for some tubes in Sadie's ears. This is an easy, outpatient procedure that should resolve the problem. I would most certainly covet your prayers as we try to navigate a new hospital, new insurance, new doctors, etc. I pray that this is the extent of the problem and that we are able to have some positive post-surgery results.

Sadie is an amazing example of God's grace to me, and I am overwhelmed by how I see His goodness in her sweetness.

8 years and 1 week

In all the chaos of last week and our travels, I neglected to mention that J and I celebrated eight years of marriage. In one instant in seems outrageous that it's really been eight years, but then I start noticing children and it feels like an impossibility that it's only been eight!

Sometimes I giggle a little when I read the blog posts and facebook status updates about being married to the perfect man. If 8 years of marriage has taught me anything, it's that J is not perfect. And unfortunately, I'm even less perfect.

I am overwhelming thankful, however, that I have a husband who loves me no matter what. He serves me so well, and he wants to lead me and out family with character, integrity, and loyalty. Who could ask for anything more?

We knew we would be visiting J's parents on our anniversary, so J arranged for us to spend a night away from the kids. Considering we have not had a night without children since before Ella was born, I would say it was well deserved. It was nice to remember what it's like to finish a conversation and a meal without interruption. Not to mention the indulgence of sleeping until after 9 AM!

Can you tell we were excited to be away?


I was surprised at how excited I got to be coming home to the kids the next morning. Being away reminded me of all the joys wrapped up in sticky fingers, restless kids, and long bottles, but the being away was still nice, really nice.

Order

Lest you think we've had a lazy Saturday around here...

Order is restored in the playroom!

I'm glad I have a picture of it because I'm not sure it will ever be this clean again!

Chaos

After a whirlwind week of our in-town "staycation" last week, we packed up and headed out for a road trip to spend some time with family. I really thought that I would post some updates and stories while we were on the road, but that most certainly did not happen. I'm finding that most days I grossly underestimate what I am capable of accomplishing. Between the move, the kids, and my need to sleep more than four hours a night, life is kicking me in the rear right now!

Exhibit A:

This is what it looks like when you've been on the road a week, the playroom is also the laundry room and study, and the newly purchased shelf and rug require that everything be completely shifted around in a once sorted out space.

Yeah, chaos is the only word that fits the bill.

J starts work next week and we are in the final stages of getting life under control here. Regular updates should be coming soon, I think :)

Pancake Palace

Thursday we kicked off the morning with a big breakfast at a local place that is famous for its pancakes. Part of the tradition is waiting in line, but I was very pleasantly surprised at how quickly things moved along.

Daddy was on Sadie duty for most of the breakfast. I wish I could say that meant I was sitting and eating my food, but I was in charge of taking kids to the potty! I think he got the better end of the deal, honestly.

Yeah, I guess with two cups to drink out of I shouldn't have been surprised that we were back and forth from the bathroom.

Bo read the selections from the kid's menu out loud, and as soon as Ella heard "pancakes" and "candy pieces" she was not to be swayed.

Jack had the candy pancakes as well.

As we were being seated, they asked if we needed a high chair and we requested a booster. Bo J and I giggled when the guy brought out a box. That's just how they do the booster chairs there!

We'd planned to go splash in some fountains and stroll around a farmer's market Thursday afternoon, but a giant Thunderstorm rolled in about 3 PM and totally changed our plans. When we lost power around 5 PM, we packed up the kids and headed out for dinner. We ended up at this fabulous little place that serves all locally grown foods. AND it's just across the road from a local food store, so I'm excited to check that out.

We were relieved to see that the power was back on when we got home, so we got the kids in bed and got all ready to head out of town Friday morning.

Wednesday on the move...

I think Wednesday was my favorite day. It was another busy day, but it was so much fun!

We started the day with a trip to the art museum. Normally, I would not venture to an art museum with small kids, but this was worth it. Actually, the current exhibit is gorgeous blown glass art of various proportions so the walk through the exhibit was a little stressful. We just had to make sure everyone's hands were accounted for at all times!

BUT this museum has a children's area that is absolutely fabulous. Not only do the kids get to see and explore various art, they get to do all kinds of hands on crafts. We were there for hours with nary a complaint!

Ella did some serious paper cutting and we actually made a cool paper flower together.

Masterpieces were created by all in the watercolor paint section.

It was no easy task to tear Bo away from the electronic kaliedescope. Any time he noticed that it wasn't being used by someone, he was wanting to go play on it.

Although I will say he's not the only one who found it interesting!

I think my favorite art project was the print making. The kids sketched out a design and then pressed the design into a piece of styrofoam with special tools.

Then the styrofoam got a layer of paint.

The print got loaded into a special press with a piece of fabric.

After a few spins of the wheel, off came the print.

I'm not sure the kids appreciated how cool it was, but it was really neat!

J was the champ of the morning. He held Sadie for a while as I assisted the big kids and carried Jack around quite a bit. We needed an extra set of hands, so I got out the Moby wrap to put Sadie on me and he volunteered for the job. He said it was quite a chick magnet for ladies in the 60-70 year age range!

The funniest thing to me was that he mentioned his lower back was hurting a bit when we finally unwrapped her after about 2 hours. Hmmmm, maybe that's why I wanted so many back rubs during pregnancy :)

We knew the kids were pretty tired, so after a quick lunch, we loaded up in the car and went off for a scenic drive. It was a beautiful drive through one of the state parks that is not too far from here, and we wound up in a small town with a semi-famous little grocery store and restaurant.

We walked the block that was downtown and got some suckers for the kids at a local organic food store.

I love pictures of little kids in chairs that are just a bit too big!

Possibly an all time favorite of Jack.

We also wondered into an antique store and almost as quickly hustled out of there. When I saw some old bowls and pots priced at $500 a piece, I knew we'd better get out, fast! Turns out it wasn't just antiques, it was an early American estate that was reeeeeeally old, and apparently really old equals really expensive.

We had a quick dinner in the country store, and then headed back home with some seriously hot and sticky kids!

Tuesday was definitely their favorite.

Tuesday we dropped Sadie off with a sitter and we headed to a local water park for a splashin' good time. The kids were beside themselves excited, especially Ella. I thought it was sweet hat even in the midst of her excitement, she was a little bummed that Sadie didn't get to come with us!

Man, we are a pale lot!

We took a little break mid-visit to grab some water and some lunch.


The kids were almost silent as they ate and they all blinked long and slow. When I asked if they were too tired to go play more, they perked up and we hit the water again for a little bit longer.

Man, we totally tuckered them out! Jack was asleep before we even got out of the parking lot.

It was a perfect night for pizza and a movie at home with an early bed time!

The staycation begins

Monday we kicked off our week of festivities with a trip to the science museum. Initially, we ruled out the museum and planned to do the morning at the zoo; however, with the unseasonably warm temps and humidity levels that are far different from what we're used to, we opted for an indoor activity instead.



And let me just say, it was the right choice! We were sweating just walking up the little hill from the parking lot to the entrance. We had a great morning running around and finding lots of adventures.

Daddy helped launch the parachutes.

The boys found lots of hands on games and activities...

including a flight simulator video game. Big fun!

Ella spent a lot of time working on the lever to lift the car off the ground.

She wasn't quite able to do it all by herself, but it wasn't for lack of trying!

Jack tried to keep up with the "big kids" on the indoor jungle gym, but he was a little small to manuever all the climbing without some help.

And Sadie was pretty content to hang out in the stroller or in my arms. She is such a laid back little charmer!

The kids took a mini-nap in the car while we drove around to see some of the famous sights downtown and in our neck of the woods. They were nice and tired for the babysitter that came so J and I could have a date.

Man, it's going to be bummer when he goes back to work!

On Being Settled

It's time for Sadie's afternoon bottle right now but she's totally still asleep so I'm taking advantage of the few minutes I have to update the blog. It's been a whirlwind week of "staycation" and we have loved, loved, loved relaxing and exploring this new city as a family.

We spent the weekend getting the last few things out of boxes and hanging pictures on the wall. It's the finshing touches that make moving feel finished. The kid's toy area is still pretty much a disaster, but I think our trip to ikea next week will help take care of that.

Being here in a new city and not simply unpacking boxes all day every day has been good for my soul. To relax and laugh and watch my kids run around new places was just what I needed. It's almost impossible for me to believe that it's been two weeks and a few days since we actually got here. This afternoon, I finally took a look at some of the pictures I've taken.

Here's a little shot of the chaos from the night we moved in. The movers couldn't get the truck up the hill so they had to bring small loads up in J's truck. They didn't start unloading until about 8:30 PM so it was most certainly a looooooooong night. I spent the first couple of hours trying to keep the kids entertained and confined to a blanket in the corner of the room. As midnight came and went, there was still no sign of mattresses being unloaded, so I simply scrounged around for their pillows and snuggled them onto the floor with their blankets.

Notice the pile of little feet and blankets sticking out of the corner?

We finally got the beds unloaded and made around 2 AM but they slept on that blanket for a good two hours as the movers simply piled boxes around them.

Now, I'm sitting in that exact same spot of the living room at the desk where my computer now lives. It seems almost impossible that I actually lived that moment. It also seems impossible that it was a mere two weeks ago. This place still doesn't feel completely like home, but we're getting there. The irony of settling somewhere for a year is that it's time to start undoing almost as soon as the doing is complete. But the beauty is in the journey, right?