I am learning that I will see my children hurt others and get hurt themselves. It is sobering.
Oh, how I need wisdom for this journey in parenting.
James 1:5-6
If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without fault, and it will be given to him.
Monday, March 30
Saturday, March 28
Thursday, March 26
Wednesday, March 25
Lions, and Tigers, and Bears. Oh, my!
The kids are still talking about our trip to the zoo last week. I'm slow to get the pictures sorted out, but we sure did have a great time.
We saw lions,
and tigers,
and bears from the safety of the stroller!
Feeding the ducks was quite an experience. It was a bit windy, so we didn't have the best success getting the bread into the water for them, but we all enjoyed seeing the ducks up close.
The kids were not afraid to get as close to the animals as possible. I, on the other hand, have a healthy respect for the power of these animals. The chain link fence didn't seem like the most optimal deterent for this lovely "cat" showing us her fangs!
I felt a little bit better about the glass keeping the cougar away from the kids, but that thing kept pacing as we stood there!
Without exception, the highlight of the trip was our time with the monkeys. We stood and watching this monkey for at least 20 minutes, and he put on quite a show for us!
The kids have been doing "impersonations" of the "monkey show" all week. Nothing gets them talking like the mention of the monkey :)
Tuesday, March 24
Monday, March 23
Windy...
I'd planned to do a long, elaborate post this evening, but the wind is pretty loud and a little scary, so I think I'm going to be shutting down the computer now. I will also be praying that 2 AM doesn't find me huddled in my closet with three small kids and a flashlight.
'Tis the season :(
'Tis the season :(
Sunday, March 22
Cheddar Cheese-atite
I wish I could remember what it was like to be four. I watch Bo and he seems to be having the time of his life!
I ran a few errands this afternoon, and Bo came with me. After "resting" for an hour, he was not settling down, so we headed out while the little kids napped and J studied.
Let me just tell you, I've never had such a great time running errands!
We "hustled" through parking lots.
We yelled into the wind.
We jumped off every curb and over most of the cracks in the asphalt.
We got thirsty and made a stop at Sonic's happy hour.
Bo sent quite a few text messages from his cell phone. It's an old phone that we held onto and since we still own the charger, it has provided endless hours of entertainment. He's recently learned how to text, and he loves making words!
We read words on signs. Imagine my surprise when he sounded out the word "style" all by himself. I was a little distracted, and when I finally noticed the word he was pointing at, I was so excited that he did it all by himself.
As we wandered through the grocery store, he kept saying the most precious things and reminding me that he has a very healthy appetite. "A cheese-atite, mom. I have such a healthy appetite; it's a cheddar cheese-atite."
My favorite moment of the afternoon was in the middle of our trip. Bo put his sweet little hand on my arm, and said, "Mom, I'm a little bummed that Ella isn't here with us. I think we should pray for her since she is at home without us."
And he spontaneously began to pray the most precious words for his little sister.
Oh, how sweet these moments!
I ran a few errands this afternoon, and Bo came with me. After "resting" for an hour, he was not settling down, so we headed out while the little kids napped and J studied.
Let me just tell you, I've never had such a great time running errands!
We "hustled" through parking lots.
We yelled into the wind.
We jumped off every curb and over most of the cracks in the asphalt.
We got thirsty and made a stop at Sonic's happy hour.
Bo sent quite a few text messages from his cell phone. It's an old phone that we held onto and since we still own the charger, it has provided endless hours of entertainment. He's recently learned how to text, and he loves making words!
We read words on signs. Imagine my surprise when he sounded out the word "style" all by himself. I was a little distracted, and when I finally noticed the word he was pointing at, I was so excited that he did it all by himself.
As we wandered through the grocery store, he kept saying the most precious things and reminding me that he has a very healthy appetite. "A cheese-atite, mom. I have such a healthy appetite; it's a cheddar cheese-atite."
My favorite moment of the afternoon was in the middle of our trip. Bo put his sweet little hand on my arm, and said, "Mom, I'm a little bummed that Ella isn't here with us. I think we should pray for her since she is at home without us."
And he spontaneously began to pray the most precious words for his little sister.
Oh, how sweet these moments!
Saturday, March 21
Friday, March 20
Moments
I have so many pictures and thoughts from the day, but this is all I have time for right this second. This may be one of my all-time favorite photos, ever.
Thursday, March 19
Giggle
I am without a car this week as it is in the shop. This is what I see when I go out into the garage:
I am not sure why, but it makes me giggle whenever I go out there!
Tuesday, March 17
Happy St. Patty's Day!
Bo was much more interested in running around outside than he was in posing for a picture in his green shirt!
Monday, March 16
Due Date
In the past few months, I have drafted this post more times than I have fingers. Always, I knew I would begin with the line, "I'm not pregnant!"
Because almost exactly six months ago, we began the adoption process.
Do you need a minute to let that sink in? Yeah, those are pretty weighty words in my opinion.
Let me go back just a little further. Adoption is always something J and I have talked about, dreamed about. Before kids were even on the radar, we talked about the beautiful metaphor of adoption in the Bible and we dreamed that maybe one day adoption would be a part of our family's story.
Towards the end of my pregnancy with Jack, J announced that he thought it was the right time to pursue adoption for our family. I was all, "easy there tiger, I have a bun that's about to pop out of this oven, so maybe we ought to give ourselves a little bit of time here!"
We gathered some bits and pieces of information, but decided we would wait until Jack was actually here and we had settled slightly into the reality of three children. The man-to-man parenting was working pretty well for us, but we needed some time to adjust to that zone parenting defense!
By mid-September, we decided to proceed, and began the application process through the Department of Human Services in our state. It's certainly not the easiest way to adopt a baby, but we know first hand that there is great need. Our state ranks towards the top of the list for children under the age of two looking for adopted homes. It's heartbreaking!
We completed paperwork, had fingerprints taken, backgrounds checked, took resource training classes, and met with a social worker to have a home study.
And today, I got the news. Our application is complete. The social worker is coming Thursday to review his report with us. There's nothing else to do. No more papers to fill out. It's time to wait and see if there is a child, or children, that will get to join our family.
I wanted to call this post Due Date because I love the finality of a due date during a pregnancy. It's a day to dream about, look forward to, and anticipate. Even though babies are rarely born on their actual due date, it's nice to have an end in mind.
I think one of the most difficult aspects of an adoption is that there is no due date. We could get a call in six weeks. We could never get that call. It's a lesson in patience and providence to say the least.
The interesting thing is that despite our most deliberate and intentional efforts, there was an interesting shift in our plan. It was not all that long ago, that we found out I was, in fact, pregnant.
We were shocked. Amazed. Overjoyed. Overwhelmed.
And then, as unexpectedly as we found out we would have another baby, it became clear that this little one would not join our family as we had hoped.
More shock. Sorrow. Pain. Confusion.
And now I find myself, mourning the loss of one due date, and yet strangely anticipating another due date. It is some sort of divine due date that is a complete mystery to me.
God is really teaching me to live in a place of complete surrender--not necessarily my most comfortable position to be honest with you--and inspiring me to feast on the very bread of life:
"Where can I go from your Spirit?
Where can I flee from your presence?
If I go up to the heavens, you are there.
if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.
...
Search me, O God, and know my heart.
Test me and know my anxious thoughts.
See if there is any offensive way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting."
Psalm 139: 7-8, 23-24
So what now?
We wait. We rest. We pray.
Because almost exactly six months ago, we began the adoption process.
Do you need a minute to let that sink in? Yeah, those are pretty weighty words in my opinion.
Let me go back just a little further. Adoption is always something J and I have talked about, dreamed about. Before kids were even on the radar, we talked about the beautiful metaphor of adoption in the Bible and we dreamed that maybe one day adoption would be a part of our family's story.
Towards the end of my pregnancy with Jack, J announced that he thought it was the right time to pursue adoption for our family. I was all, "easy there tiger, I have a bun that's about to pop out of this oven, so maybe we ought to give ourselves a little bit of time here!"
We gathered some bits and pieces of information, but decided we would wait until Jack was actually here and we had settled slightly into the reality of three children. The man-to-man parenting was working pretty well for us, but we needed some time to adjust to that zone parenting defense!
By mid-September, we decided to proceed, and began the application process through the Department of Human Services in our state. It's certainly not the easiest way to adopt a baby, but we know first hand that there is great need. Our state ranks towards the top of the list for children under the age of two looking for adopted homes. It's heartbreaking!
We completed paperwork, had fingerprints taken, backgrounds checked, took resource training classes, and met with a social worker to have a home study.
And today, I got the news. Our application is complete. The social worker is coming Thursday to review his report with us. There's nothing else to do. No more papers to fill out. It's time to wait and see if there is a child, or children, that will get to join our family.
I wanted to call this post Due Date because I love the finality of a due date during a pregnancy. It's a day to dream about, look forward to, and anticipate. Even though babies are rarely born on their actual due date, it's nice to have an end in mind.
I think one of the most difficult aspects of an adoption is that there is no due date. We could get a call in six weeks. We could never get that call. It's a lesson in patience and providence to say the least.
The interesting thing is that despite our most deliberate and intentional efforts, there was an interesting shift in our plan. It was not all that long ago, that we found out I was, in fact, pregnant.
We were shocked. Amazed. Overjoyed. Overwhelmed.
And then, as unexpectedly as we found out we would have another baby, it became clear that this little one would not join our family as we had hoped.
More shock. Sorrow. Pain. Confusion.
And now I find myself, mourning the loss of one due date, and yet strangely anticipating another due date. It is some sort of divine due date that is a complete mystery to me.
God is really teaching me to live in a place of complete surrender--not necessarily my most comfortable position to be honest with you--and inspiring me to feast on the very bread of life:
"Where can I go from your Spirit?
Where can I flee from your presence?
If I go up to the heavens, you are there.
if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.
...
Search me, O God, and know my heart.
Test me and know my anxious thoughts.
See if there is any offensive way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting."
Psalm 139: 7-8, 23-24
So what now?
We wait. We rest. We pray.
Sunday, March 15
Top 10
We are out of town with J for his moonlighting, once again! Here are the top ten moments of the weekend.
1. I don't remember when we were last here-a month ago maybe-but in that time, the wal-mart got an update. The outside is just the same, but inside it's been reorganized with all new signs and floors. It's funny how a few little changes make it feel [almost] like a brand new store. It was actually kind of fun to shop :)
2. Jack pulls up on everything, and we discovered that the trash can is not the best anchor for his 20 pounds.
3. We found an authentic Italian grocery not too far from here, and that was serious fun!
4. I think we decided that we're going to get the van fixed instead of buying a new one. This will give us a little more time to save enough that we should be able to buy something outright. Not a fan of the car payment....
5. Ella will frequently yell out, "my pee-pee is coming out; my pee-pee is coming out!" The funny thing is that often it is not when she has to go to the bathroom. She uses it as a catchphrase for when she is frustrated or trying hard to do something and can't quite make it.
6. J has worked less this weekend than ever before. I think it's been a combination of the suddenly cold temps keeping people inside, AND an experienced ER doctor working the overnight shift. It's actually been lots of fun to have some [unexpected] time with him this weekend.
7. Bo discovered that he can "draw" roads on the suede couches, and he's had much fun creating all kinds of adventures for his race cars. Thanks J for the creative genius on that one!
8. I started doing some planning and research for our upcoming five week road trip, and I think the reality of 3000 miles, 3 small kids, and no home turf for five weeks is starting to be a little overwhelming.
9. I really love dried cranberries. Seriously, can't. stop. eating. them.
10. Ella sleeps in our room while we are here, and the past two nights she has woken up multiple times with the need to pee-pee. This is unusual for her as she usually sleeps straight through until morning, or at least I sleep through her pee-pee whines. I kind of hope that his is just because we are away from home and she is in a new place. We peed at 12 AM, 2 AM, and 4 AM last night. I don't think I'm ready to make that a habit!
1. I don't remember when we were last here-a month ago maybe-but in that time, the wal-mart got an update. The outside is just the same, but inside it's been reorganized with all new signs and floors. It's funny how a few little changes make it feel [almost] like a brand new store. It was actually kind of fun to shop :)
2. Jack pulls up on everything, and we discovered that the trash can is not the best anchor for his 20 pounds.
3. We found an authentic Italian grocery not too far from here, and that was serious fun!
4. I think we decided that we're going to get the van fixed instead of buying a new one. This will give us a little more time to save enough that we should be able to buy something outright. Not a fan of the car payment....
5. Ella will frequently yell out, "my pee-pee is coming out; my pee-pee is coming out!" The funny thing is that often it is not when she has to go to the bathroom. She uses it as a catchphrase for when she is frustrated or trying hard to do something and can't quite make it.
6. J has worked less this weekend than ever before. I think it's been a combination of the suddenly cold temps keeping people inside, AND an experienced ER doctor working the overnight shift. It's actually been lots of fun to have some [unexpected] time with him this weekend.
7. Bo discovered that he can "draw" roads on the suede couches, and he's had much fun creating all kinds of adventures for his race cars. Thanks J for the creative genius on that one!
8. I started doing some planning and research for our upcoming five week road trip, and I think the reality of 3000 miles, 3 small kids, and no home turf for five weeks is starting to be a little overwhelming.
9. I really love dried cranberries. Seriously, can't. stop. eating. them.
10. Ella sleeps in our room while we are here, and the past two nights she has woken up multiple times with the need to pee-pee. This is unusual for her as she usually sleeps straight through until morning, or at least I sleep through her pee-pee whines. I kind of hope that his is just because we are away from home and she is in a new place. We peed at 12 AM, 2 AM, and 4 AM last night. I don't think I'm ready to make that a habit!
Thursday, March 12
Tuesday, March 10
We all need a little sparkle.
With temperatures in the eighties for several days in a row, I found my kids in a bit of a clothing crisis! They had some things here and there from last season that still fit, and Jack has a majority of Bo's old hand-me-downs, but it became clear that I had some work to do.
So a few days ago, I began the task of sorting through winter clothes and figuring out what each of the kids would need to avoid being naked all summer.
This morning, we headed out after breakfast and hit several stores to see if I could get them clothed.
I just have to add here, that I heard "wow, you sure have your hands full!" no less than a dozen times in two hours and three stores! I understand what people mean when they say that, but I'm just never exactly sure how to respond. My arms still ache for more little ones to hug and hold, but people seemed shocked by the fact that I have three so close together. Invariably if I communicate that we would love for our family to continue to grow, they look at me more closely, as if to assess whether or not I am of sound mind. I think they are often even more exasperated that I would actually choose to bring them shopping with me!
Back to the point.
Our final stop of the day was Target and Ella needed a pair of "nice" shoes to wear with her dresses. I'm always hesitant to buy white shoes [even for me] but that seemed like the most versatile option for her spring/summer seasons.
I found a pair that I liked in her size, and she immediately sat down and put them on. Let me just tell you, she was so excited. She walked delicately up and down the shoe aisle like a little princess and exclaimed, "these are pretty. Do you see the bow?"
There was another pair that I wanted her to try, but I was having a hard time finding them in her size. I finally saw a pair that was correct, but the shoe was wrapped in tissue paper.
I asked Ella to come over to me and take the white shoes off so she could try on another pair. I could tell she was hesitant to give up her pretty shoes with the bow, so I slowly pulled back the tissue paper for her to see the second pair.
"They sparkle!" she squealed gleefully.
And without a moment's hesitation, she was on her bottom ripping off the pretty bow shoe. Her words came more quickly than her fingers could release the buckles, "mom, they sparkle, and they have pink, and they are soooooooooo pretty. Can I wear them? Can I put them on? I looooove the pink sparkle!"
As she stood up in the sparkly shoes, her eyes were as wide as she could possibly make them. She stared at them in wonder and proudly displayed them to Bo as she pointed her toes and floated around.
"Mom, they have glitter and they sparkle!"
The moment has made me sparkle all day.
So a few days ago, I began the task of sorting through winter clothes and figuring out what each of the kids would need to avoid being naked all summer.
This morning, we headed out after breakfast and hit several stores to see if I could get them clothed.
I just have to add here, that I heard "wow, you sure have your hands full!" no less than a dozen times in two hours and three stores! I understand what people mean when they say that, but I'm just never exactly sure how to respond. My arms still ache for more little ones to hug and hold, but people seemed shocked by the fact that I have three so close together. Invariably if I communicate that we would love for our family to continue to grow, they look at me more closely, as if to assess whether or not I am of sound mind. I think they are often even more exasperated that I would actually choose to bring them shopping with me!
Back to the point.
Our final stop of the day was Target and Ella needed a pair of "nice" shoes to wear with her dresses. I'm always hesitant to buy white shoes [even for me] but that seemed like the most versatile option for her spring/summer seasons.
I found a pair that I liked in her size, and she immediately sat down and put them on. Let me just tell you, she was so excited. She walked delicately up and down the shoe aisle like a little princess and exclaimed, "these are pretty. Do you see the bow?"
There was another pair that I wanted her to try, but I was having a hard time finding them in her size. I finally saw a pair that was correct, but the shoe was wrapped in tissue paper.
I asked Ella to come over to me and take the white shoes off so she could try on another pair. I could tell she was hesitant to give up her pretty shoes with the bow, so I slowly pulled back the tissue paper for her to see the second pair.
"They sparkle!" she squealed gleefully.
And without a moment's hesitation, she was on her bottom ripping off the pretty bow shoe. Her words came more quickly than her fingers could release the buckles, "mom, they sparkle, and they have pink, and they are soooooooooo pretty. Can I wear them? Can I put them on? I looooove the pink sparkle!"
As she stood up in the sparkly shoes, her eyes were as wide as she could possibly make them. She stared at them in wonder and proudly displayed them to Bo as she pointed her toes and floated around.
"Mom, they have glitter and they sparkle!"
The moment has made me sparkle all day.
Monday, March 9
Matching boys...
J got the boys dressed this morning in similar outfits. I couldn't resist a few shots of them playing together.
How is it possible that Jack is such a big boy?
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