Birthday Eve

Can't believe my red-headed, blue-eyed wonder turns two tomorrow!

It's even crazier to think that I was walking around the house taking deep breaths two years ago.

Love these pics of the younger two J captured today.

I think Sadie's little "just a minute" finger is hysterical here.

Priceless.

God and the roof

I've been a little mum here about the status of our house and working out the details of our contract. We were a bit overwhelmed last week when the inspection revealed some fairly serious hail damage on the roof.

Did I mention the roof is only five years old?

It was a big shocker because we just didn't anticipate having any problems with with the roof. Honestly, I was really discouraged. It felt like regardless of how things worked out, it was going to require a fair amount of time, effort, and stress to get it all worked out.

As we talked to J's brother, who just happens to be a lawyer that works in insurance, we were even more discouraged. Turns out our particular insurance carrier has a reputation in the industry for being very difficult when it comes to handing out cash for claims.

When we did file the claim, we were told that Tuesday [the 20th] was the earliest that an adjuster could come out to our house. Based on the terms of our contract, we had to have all our repairs scheduled or resolved by the 22nd, so this seemed like it could make things a little tight.

It took the better part of the weekend, but I finally stopped wrestling with it. I finally got to the point where I felt okay about our options. I don't like the idea of having to put the house back on the market, but if that has to happen, then there are lots of worse things.

Then, in what seemed like an impossible answer to prayer, the adjuster talked to J yesterday and said he could come today. Just like that.

After an hour on the roof, he said he needed to do some calculations in his car, but he planned to declare the roof totalled.

What?

People, I just cannot believe it. This seems like such an extraordinary, extravagant answer to prayer. We are getting a new roof. Well, actually the new owners will get a new roof; we just get to test it out for a few weeks first. Oh, and he said the gutters needed replacing as well. Oh my, oh my, oh my.

And so we are moving forward, finishing up repairs and lining up roof and gutter replacement.

I am in awe:
Amazed by a God who cares about my roof.
Overwhelmed at how tenderly He is caring for us in this season.
Thankful that He knows my name.

Serving Sister Day

After we finished our school time this morning with friends, Bo and Ella were running around having themselves a grand time.

"Mom," Bo declared, "it's serving sister day. I am going to do everything I can to serve Ella!"

I thought it was really sweet, and I told Bo that. I was hanging out in the den with Jack and Sadie, and I heard Ella mention "medicine" several times. When I questioned what was going on, Ella told me Bo was helping her with her finger. She has a hangnail that has gotten quite a bit of attention in the last twenty-four hours. I saw they were playing and figured it was a rousing game of pretend, so I got Sadie's bottle ready and settled on the couch to feed her.

Honestly, I was really enjoying listening to the kids play. They were being surprisingly sweet and cooperative, and Sadie was pure sweetness in my arms. I checked on them moments earlier and the fact that I could hear them talking and playing made me confident in my belief that all was well.

It was a few minutes later that Bo came around the corner with a funny look on his face and I noticed him chewing something. "It's not very good mom, I think I need something to drink."

And all I felt in that moment was sheer panic.

I came around the corner and noticed two stepstools stacked outside the cabinet in the hallway. As I entered the bathroom, I noticed that the counter was covered with various medicines from the top shelf of said cabinet: band-aids, neosporin, hydrogen peroxide, advil, and tums.

Then, I see Jack munching away on something and Ella happily chewing as well. It didn't take long to realize they were all trying the tums. The boys had only gotten one, but Ella confessed that she had already eaten four.

Oh my.

I called J at work, and he promptly suggested I call poison control. Randy, at poison control, was very helpful. He assured me that four of the tablets would not be problematic.

Cue teary prayers of thankfulness for my children's safety, stern lectures and warnings about the medicine cabinet and its contents, and swift and unpleasant consequences.

It didn't take much conversation to learn that Ella was the mastermind behind the operation and that Bo was doing all he could to "serve" his sister.

When all was resolved, Ella snuggled up as close as she could possibly sit to me on the sofa as I finished Sadie's bottle. "Mom, I am so sorry I did that with the medicines," she said softly as she nuzzled into my arm. I reminded her of her forgiveness and told her that we didn't have to worry about it or think about it any more. We can rest in knowing that it is finished.

new, new swing, me?

Jack is the kind of kid who feels deeply, passionately about things. When he discovers something he loves, he really loves it.

The swing in the backyard is no exception.

The kid loves to swing!

Last summer, I could put him in it and just let him sit there and watch us as we played around him on the playset. He was content with a little push here and there.

And just in case you need proof of this deep, deep love...

The open mouth smile says it all.

I took these pictures a few days ago, just moments before the swing broke.

I was going back and forth pushing Ella some and then jumping back over to push him. He slowed considerably, so I went to give him a big "starter" push, and the support rope under the front of the swing snapped. It was getting old, I guess, and jack is not the lightest thing these days, and before I knew it, he was hanging upside down in the broken swing.

I rushed to get him out, so very thankful in that moment that he he had not fallen all the way to the ground. He was screaming hysterically, but as I examined him, I could not find anything wrong. He finally calmed down enough to say a word I understood, "glasses." It was at that moment I realized that his glasses had fallen off in the commotion and he wanted them back on.

As soon as they were back on his face, he went running off to another part of the yard to play.

The funniest thing now is to hear him relay the experience:
"wing, boke? so sad me, me. hang like monkey. glasses fall. so sad me, me. wing boke."

And now, when I ask him what he wants for his birthday, all he can talk about is a new swing:
"birthday me, me. two? new, new, wing me? my wing boke. glasses fall. so sad. new wing birthday please!"

I hope I never forget the fact that he doubles his words right now. It's the most precious thing to hear him say, "new, new wing?"

I think we will get a new swing for his birthday, even if it does have to stay with the playset when we leave.
I can't believe he's almost two!

We love spring!

Flashback

All these pictures of Sadie and her hair have me thinking about Ella at this age. It's hard to tell who had more hair because Ella's had some natural curl to it. Either way, they both ended up with a thick head of hair bright and early.

Interestingly, I read an article not too long ago that talked about how certain things designed to make life simpler or more advanced often have the opposite effect.

I found myself disagreeing a little bit when digital cameras were on that list. Of course a digital camera makes things easier! Of course it's great to have a picture where no one has eyes closed! Of course never having to drop off film, wait three days, and go back to pick up prints is easier.

Then, I started going through my pictures from Easter, and I have 33 pictures of Sadie in Ella's lap. They are the same picture over and over, but I was going through them trying to find the "best one." AND I started thinking about the thousands of pictures that are just hanging out on my computer. They've never been printed out for albums and frames, but they are gems with no where to go and nothing to do.

Maybe a roll of film is easier.

I was thinking about these pictures of Ella's first experience with nail polish, and couldn't resist posting a little flashback to that morning.

These were taken in September 2008, so she was just two years old.

And oh, my, listen to her talk about it. I can't believe how much she's changed, and I cannot believe that was two years ago!

New kid on the block

Today is monumental.

Sadie's hair decided to lay flat.

Seriously. This is a big deal!

I even washed it last night which typically makes the next day the most fluffy.

She woke up this morning and it was all flopped over to the side.

The sitting up pictures were a little awkard so we opted for some head lifting instead :)

No more Sadie-hawk. It's a little sad.

Ella keeps asking me if I can make it stick up again, but I'm pretty sure that's now just a memory. We'll have to rely on our pictures I guess...

This shot was taken Saturday, so she must have had some serious hair growth since then :)

My little peanut is growing up too fast!

Words are art, right?

Bo prefers to use his magnadoodle for doodles other than art:


Express Cardio-Express Pliometrics
Can you tell he's into the workouts?

IHOP Train
Not sure about that one.

Birthday wish list.

Jack just wanted you to know he's an artist too!

Artwork

Look mom; it's a picture of baby Sadie!

So proud.

Sunday Best

I had a moment of pause as I put on a second layer of mascara this morning. What I felt in that moment, honestly, was shame.

I thought about the amount of time I spent getting ready this morning. Truthfully, I showered and dressed in about 25 minutes, so it really wasn't that long. BUT if you add in the amount of time I spent making sure all the kids had spring shoes that fit, finding frilly dresses and dress shirts for the boys, making sure I had something that fit this morning, washing, ironing and laying out all of those little outfits, it adds up to a nice chunk of time.

It was the hot shame of the reality that the amount of time I spent on the external for this day pales in comparison to the amount of time I spent preparing my heart for this day, this holy week, this Easter season.

On Sunday mornings, I most often want to lay in bed until the noises of the first child rouse me from my slumber. Then I want to tag team with J as we get ourselves ready and make sure all the little ducklings are ready as well. Then, we rush into the car and attempt to get to church in enough time to get the kids settled in the nursery or Sunday school before church actually starts.

It is, at best, a mad dash from bed to breakfast to shower to car to worship. Almost always I arrive and exhale as I sit in the pew. I have thought of little other than the lists of tasks that must be done to get us out of the door.

I really don't think God cares if I have on a second coat of mascara or if my legs are shaved or if my kid's Easter outfits coordinate.

So why do I care so much?

Surely He would rather me pause at the beginning of this day and prepare my heart to be corporately engaged with Him. And why does Easter Sunday feel more successful to me when people tell me how adorable my kids are or how cute my dress is?

Ugh, my heart is truly and desperately in need of a Savior.
I rejoice today that He is risen. He conquered death. He suffered so I wouldn't have to. And I pray that He will continue to give me a heart after His own heart. That I will be beautiful because I am being sanctified in and through Him rather than because I look like I have it all together.

Because it's really no secret: I definitely do not have it all together...


...even if it looks that way in the pictures!

We did have fun taking some shots out in front of our [soon to be sold] house. It took some coaxing, but I think the kids enjoyed it.

The promise that they got to pick a treat from their Easter basket after lunch helped too :)

These boys love their daddy, and so do I!


The sermon this morning was a great reminder to me of just how central the Resurrection really is to what I believe and why I believe it. It is not simply a metaphor for the Christian faith. For "if only for this life we have hope in Christ, we are to be pitied more than all men." I Corinthians 15:19

Without his defeat of death, a literal conquering of the grave, our faith is in vain.

The pastor also shared these words from beat poet Jesse Fisher:

What is the cure to an infectious disease? What if the symptoms outnumber the leaves on the trees, the sand of the seas? A man that can’t stand is down on his knees. He’s been hurting so hard he can’t even breathe, you see, we cough and we sneeze, we gasp and we wheeze, searching for something that will help us relieve: The pain when we eat, the pain in our speech, our world becomes dark as nothing tastes sweet. So we lie and we cheat, we fight for our keep, acting like wolves we devour the weak. But we’re shepherdless sheep, too nervous to sleep, we act like we’re perfect when we silently weep. Our sinuses bleed with envy and greed–selfish consumption as we consistently feed. We consistently ache, we consistently take pills with names that are fake. Just let me escape! Just let me put all of my faith in things that forsake. If I just lost some weight. If I just were in shape. If I just had a house with a boat on the lake. Cheap thrills move through our body like cold chills. We’ll pay with our credit card these bills. We’re dressed in our best just to look like success but we need to be healed. Our nation is sick with the sin that will lead us to death and we need to be healed. We need a resurrection injection…He was nailed to the cross just to heal our infection. He was beaten and bruised just to heal our deception. He broke the back of depression. He knocked the teeth out of death, gave his last breath, rose up from the grave and said, “You’re no longer slaves, you’ve been freed from your chains, your heartache and pain, just call out my name.” His name is Jesus.

You can watch the video here if you're interested.

Powerful words and a powerful truth that this parched soul needed to hear.

He is risen!
Praise Him from whom all blessings flow!

Easter Eve

It's one of those days that moved so fast it just slipped through my fingers! I can't believe it's already 9 PM!

We were busy today with Easter egg hunts...


...a few chores around the house...

...and some silliness with daddy that culminated in a complete shave of the beard :)

Not pictured:

Bo got a new pair of pants and a new tie for Aunt Maggie's wedding.

Ella got some sparkle nail polish on her fingers and toes-a bit hit!

That's why it's so good

One night, when Bo was just a few days old, I woke up in the wee hours and crept over to the bassinet to peer at him. Not wanting to wake a sleeping babe by touching him, I nuzzled my face down as close as I could to his little body.

He was so quiet that I thought for an instant that he wasn't breathing. I could feel my muscles tense as I looked for the rise and fall of his chest and listened for the whoosh of his heavenly breath.

In that moment, I felt that fear in my throat. What was I going to do if my precious bundle of baby wasn't breathing? He was breathing, of course, but in a hormone induced frenzy, I found myself overwhelmed at the prospect of something happening to my child.

I began praying fervently.
Lord, you have to protect him! You have to keep him! He has to be okay! What will I do if something happens to him? How will I move through it? The pain, even the thought of a hurting child or losing a child is too much to bear. You can't possibly understand how important this is...

And I was immediately overcome.

Of course it was horrific pain. Of course it was too much to bear. Of course he would understand:
He did see his child hurt.
He did watch his son struggle for breath.
He held the multitudes of heaven at bay as his only son was brutally murdered.
And He turned away from the ugliness of sin at His son's greatest time of need.

For me. For me!

I wept in that moment. In the darkness of the night. Watching my son breathe. I wept because I know my heart. I know how dark it is. I know how undeserving I am of the sacrifice. And I cannot imagine the agony of the Father or of Jesus in those final moments. Those three dark days. It is unimaginable.

I was trying to explain to the kids today why we call it "Good Friday" even though we celebrate death.

Jesus died and suffered separation from the Father so that we. don't. have. too. It is unimaginable.

I kept coming back to these words today:
Lord, what moved your heart to love lowly man before any star could herald your praise?
And why did you come, abasing yourself, veiled in a robe of frail human clay?
Why would you the pure give your life for the vile?
The innocent seeking the guilty to be reconciled.

I can't comprehend this fathomless love.
Gripped and amazed at what you have done.
Why would the adored become the despised and bear all the furious wrath that was mine?
How awesome this mystery, of your fathomless love for me?

"Fathomless Love"
Sovereign Grace Ministries

His love is fathomless. His death overwelming. His reward eternal.

Gratitude

In the past few days, there have been moments when I simply well up with tears. I am overcome with gratitude and amazement at the events of the past few days.

In a season of life where most things feel like a struggle, putting our house on the market was, well, easy. It was easy, and He didn't have to make it easy. We had eight showings in six days that culminated in a double offer frenzy.

The way that He took care of us and walked us through the events of the week is just so tangible. It's not surprising to me that I am overcome by it.

Today, I found myself overflowing with gratitude once again.

My little peanut had her four month check. How about the latest stats?

Head: 39.5 cm [10th percentile]

Height: 22.5 inches [5th percentile]

She was not even ON the growth chart for height at our two month check.

Weight: 11 pounds, 13 ounces [10th percentile]

Just hearing the numbers almost knocked me over! I was at the point where I told J that I was just going to feel totally at a loss if they said she wasn't growing the way they wanted her to. There is just nothing. else. I could possibly imagine doing. Such encouraging news!

She is some serious cuteness...

And the hair is ah-ma-zing!