I realize that the blog posts about sweet baby Sadie have been short and somewhat cryptic to this point. I blame it on the fact that I'm just having a hard time articulating the events of the past four days.
Four days? Really? In some ways I feel like I've lived a lifetime in those four short days.
I'm going to do my best to give an update here. Words are elusive, and I seem to be heavy on exhaustion these days! Hopefully this will give you a little more information about what's been going on and give you some ideas of how you can continue to pray for our family. We would covet your prayers!
I am thankful for the events of our "fun" ultrasound that began preparing me for a different reality. I mean, adding a fourth child to our family is certainly a new reality, but preparing myself for a different situation was truly God's great blessing in this situation.
When Sadie shot out [literally!], I was absolutely overwhelmed to hear that first precious cry and to see her sweet pink skin. We were also surprised in that moment to see that Sadie had a cleft lip and palette, a condition that was missed on all three of our ultrasounds. When I was able to nurse her a few minutes later, I was completely overhwelmed with thankfulness. It was a moment I did not know if I would have with her, and it was oh, so sweet. The condition with her lip and palette was unexpected, but to have such a precious baby who seemed otherwise healthy was a gift. I could not help but rejoice in that moment!
As the day dawned, we began to try and assess exactly what was going on. To have a cyst on her lungs in addition to the cleft lip and palette meant that there could quite possibly be other issues.
The pediatrician ordered an x-ray to check out the cyst and a heart ultrasound to see if Sadie's lip and palette were possibly an indication of other midline defects.
It was emotional, overwhelming, and definitely a little scary. This pink bundle of heaven could have some major problems and a hard road ahead of her; that is never news a momma wants to hear.
As we were processing this new reality, we were also encouraged by so many things. Nursing can be a real issue with a cleft lip and palette, and little Sadie was a champ! Such a blessing.
Mid morning on Sadie's birthday, J came home to get the kids and bring them to the hospital to meet Sadie. I was alone with Sadie soaking up every second. In an extremely frightning moment, I suddenly found myself with a newborn baby struggling to breathe. I watched in sheer terror and horror as she gasped for air and began to turn blue. I will never forget the look in her eyes as she struggled and fought. It was slow motion as they whisked her out of my arms to make sure all was okay.
It's hard to even write about because it was such an overwhelming moment. It was all I could to to sob and beg Jesus for my sweet baby girl. I think that was the moment that I began to understand the magnitude of the situation. This is a new normal. A lifetime of a new reality.
There have been other times that we have watched her struggle to catch her breath, but nothing nearly as serious as that first experience.
We would later learn that they cyst is still present on her lung and will likely require surgery relatively soon.
There will be a surgery for her lip and palette about the time she is ten weeks old. This is the first in a series of surgeries to correct the cleft.
There are also two minor issues with her heart. The doctor's think they are relatively normal connections that are not complete and should heal without intervention, but we will likely have follow up just to make sure.
In addition, there could be other problems that present as she grows and develops, but I'm resolved at this point that we will take those one at a time.
There are a million more things that I want to say, and hopefully I will find the time to do that soon. For the time being, here are a few pictures of our sweet Sadie Bess.
She definitely has a full head of hair!
Four days? Really? In some ways I feel like I've lived a lifetime in those four short days.
I'm going to do my best to give an update here. Words are elusive, and I seem to be heavy on exhaustion these days! Hopefully this will give you a little more information about what's been going on and give you some ideas of how you can continue to pray for our family. We would covet your prayers!
I am thankful for the events of our "fun" ultrasound that began preparing me for a different reality. I mean, adding a fourth child to our family is certainly a new reality, but preparing myself for a different situation was truly God's great blessing in this situation.
When Sadie shot out [literally!], I was absolutely overwhelmed to hear that first precious cry and to see her sweet pink skin. We were also surprised in that moment to see that Sadie had a cleft lip and palette, a condition that was missed on all three of our ultrasounds. When I was able to nurse her a few minutes later, I was completely overhwelmed with thankfulness. It was a moment I did not know if I would have with her, and it was oh, so sweet. The condition with her lip and palette was unexpected, but to have such a precious baby who seemed otherwise healthy was a gift. I could not help but rejoice in that moment!
As the day dawned, we began to try and assess exactly what was going on. To have a cyst on her lungs in addition to the cleft lip and palette meant that there could quite possibly be other issues.
The pediatrician ordered an x-ray to check out the cyst and a heart ultrasound to see if Sadie's lip and palette were possibly an indication of other midline defects.
It was emotional, overwhelming, and definitely a little scary. This pink bundle of heaven could have some major problems and a hard road ahead of her; that is never news a momma wants to hear.
As we were processing this new reality, we were also encouraged by so many things. Nursing can be a real issue with a cleft lip and palette, and little Sadie was a champ! Such a blessing.
Mid morning on Sadie's birthday, J came home to get the kids and bring them to the hospital to meet Sadie. I was alone with Sadie soaking up every second. In an extremely frightning moment, I suddenly found myself with a newborn baby struggling to breathe. I watched in sheer terror and horror as she gasped for air and began to turn blue. I will never forget the look in her eyes as she struggled and fought. It was slow motion as they whisked her out of my arms to make sure all was okay.
It's hard to even write about because it was such an overwhelming moment. It was all I could to to sob and beg Jesus for my sweet baby girl. I think that was the moment that I began to understand the magnitude of the situation. This is a new normal. A lifetime of a new reality.
There have been other times that we have watched her struggle to catch her breath, but nothing nearly as serious as that first experience.
We would later learn that they cyst is still present on her lung and will likely require surgery relatively soon.
There will be a surgery for her lip and palette about the time she is ten weeks old. This is the first in a series of surgeries to correct the cleft.
There are also two minor issues with her heart. The doctor's think they are relatively normal connections that are not complete and should heal without intervention, but we will likely have follow up just to make sure.
In addition, there could be other problems that present as she grows and develops, but I'm resolved at this point that we will take those one at a time.
There are a million more things that I want to say, and hopefully I will find the time to do that soon. For the time being, here are a few pictures of our sweet Sadie Bess.
She definitely has a full head of hair!
Ella cannot get enough of her baby sister.
Coming home...she wasn't really feeling the car seat!
Ella was so excited to have her home that she was quick to share her blanket head. If you knew how much she loves that blanket head, you would know it's true love!
Please continue to pray for Sadie and our family as we process all these changes.
Please continue to pray for Sadie and our family as we process all these changes.
9 comments:
emily, i have been praying for you, sadie, and your family this week. sarah keeps me somewhat updated and now your blog! thank you for your honesty and willingness to share thru the hard times. we will all learn so much through you. love to you!
Beautiful pictures, Emily! Congrats to you and your family. You know Sadie and the rest of you are in our prayers.
Love,
Carey
What a beauty AND a fighter! Love you bunches!
She's precious! Thank you for sharing with everyone, and we will definitely be praying for little Sadie.
Emily, Sadie is precious! It's so comforting to know that God knit together every little part of little Sadie and she is exactly how God designed her! We have no idea what HE has in store for her little life!
She is a beautiful little girl and I already love her! I can't wait to meet her in person!
You would never know your level of exhaustion based on your post! You are one gifted writer!
Hope you are getting some rest and getting ready for your BIG 3-0!!
I love you! Rachael
Dear J & E,
Shack mentioned your blog & I've been praying for you since the original ultrasound. Such a joy to read about your precious family! I pray that God's steadfast love, and sovereignty will enfold you like a thick blanket on a cold night. He knew this day since before the dawn of time and He will give you "manna" for each day. Our situation over the past two years has forced me to look only to this day and receive nourishment for each trial as it comes. My flesh wants to look into the future and grasp at control through fear. Only God can understand the depth of your love for Sadie and the very real anxiety, but how precious that He is the only One who knows how He will provide for her. I will continue to be praying for you, Beth Mack
I'm rejoicing at the great gift God has given you. I am also sorrowful that you must be suffering during this uncertain time. May God give you peace that surpasses all understanding. Keep being the super mom that you are!
Your family are in our prayers. Savannah And Rebecca prayed for Sadie tonight at bed time "that God would make her not sick"
I love you baby Sadie.
Aunt Sarah
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